Tour de Farce

Tour chiefs to hold inquiry into claims of unfair advantage

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, goes the old feminist retort. Yes, Britain's waterways are getting polluted by people discarding their unwanted junk.

I used to have a bike. I still have something resembling one kindly donated/offloaded by Steve "It only needs new tyres." The current debacle surrounding the Tour has done nothing to allay fears that cycling is as drug infested as a Pete Doherty lookalike competition. One day, when the floods receed and the dove returns with the olive branch, I aim to get back in the saddle, inspired by the fact that by next year I should be the only rider left to compete.