Herr Kutz

It is the law in England that all hairdressers have to have punning names as above. Other examples are His and Hers, and Head Masters. This reminded me of an incident in Birmingham in my student days.

I went to a local barber's shop near the university (now closed down after they found the pie shop in the cellar). My flatmate had accompanied me as I always had an aversion to hairdressers in the same away others have to dentists.. I'd rather have my molars molested than my follicles flattened.

Anyhow, Flatmate was sent to the chair first, an apt description of the process. We shared similar hairstyles. He selects Chair 1 with Master Butcher Bryan the Barber. Teenager X struts to the centre stool.

Eric waits. He reads. "Oh, I see the Titanic's about to set sail!"
Next, his waiting room current affairs education is brought to a swift end. This is how all innocent and guilty condemned men feel.

'Nothing for the weekend?'

The first blow is Eddie's. Not so much the Barber of Seville than Saville; figureow than Figaro.
His own barnet is tells its own story; it is immaculately coiffured. Tonsorially tremendous. Beware.

'Would you loike it loike your mate, loike?'


Time passes. I exhumed my body from the chair after the British tradition of nodding appreciatively at the mirror proffered to the back of the head.
Aaaaaaagh! I almost said. My head had a flat top cut. I looked like a non-ginger Rick Astley.

And now........the punchline....................Eddie had thought Teenager X was my friend.

The moral of this story is always look at the potential cutters of your locks. Never let your head near the guy with the best haircut; the guy looking like a scarecrow is the one who probably cut it.