Express Readers Make Charity Donation

You do not have to be Justin Toper - Britain's Best Astrologer in Britain's Greatest Newspaper to have seen this one coming.

'TAPAS SEVEN' ACCEPT LIBEL DAMAGES

The friends known as the Tapas Seven who were on holiday with Kate and Gerry McCann when daughter Madeleine vanished have accepted £375,000 libel damages from Express Newspapers.

The damages - which will be donated to the Find Madeleine Fund - relate to articles in the Daily Express, the Sunday Express and the Daily Star between July and December last year.

Strangely (or not) readers who are funding the donation to the diminishing Fund's pot are not allowed to comment on this story. Is the Express merely ensuring that no further action is taken against them, or protecting its 'reputation' from the idiots that buy this shite?

Justin Toper - Britain's Best Astrologer - is on the case. In today's column, he uncannily highlights Sagittarius (23/11 - 21/12) which happens to be the star sign of owner, Richard 'Where did I put my Hitler costume' Desmond.

• You should manage to take your mind of (sic) current emotional difficulties and from acting irrationally. The sense of relief when you realise that you are wanted could give you a tiny shock today. The best is yet to come - which means waiting for friends to show up.
  

Yes, £375,000 should manage that. Tiny shock? Not unless we've got the voltage wrong. Could be a long wait for the friends though.