Swan-Upping at The Mail

Following The Mail's conversion to green issues and the fact that they have convinced M & S to ditch the plastic bag, comes more glum recycled animal-rights (well, bird) bile from our friends at Britain's Nazi daily.

This time they have even more open-and-shut-case evidence. Apparently, angler David 'Maybe' Gibson caught sight of the despicable act. Or did he? Let's see:

• Mr Gibson did not need to look in the pot to know what it contained: the piles of feathers and stripped carcasses were evidence enough.

Look I don't need to be Perry Mason to pick holes in this one, but we know there's no cooking without smoke so...........

• the man - believed to be an East European immigrant - had packed up his tent and fled.

No mention who actually believes but who cares?

• I don't care what nationality these people are. It's just appalling. If we let this carry on there will be no swans left."

Yes, they'll be in Tesco next at £1.99 a go.

So it must be the Poles, yes?

• He said he found two young Polish men living in another tent nearby.
  They told him: "We don't eat the swans. We just stay here at night and we work during the day."

Very clever. Denying it, eh? BUt I thought, according to Mail-lore that all foreigners get benefits and new houses as soon as they step off the ferry/lorry Silly me.

Surely, the old bill are on the case.

• "By the time they came down the bloke had gone. He must have thrown the carcasses away.

Subtle. disposing of the evidence. But surely there's DNA knocking around? Not sure what 'authorities' he contacted but without being too crass, there does not appear to have been much chance of saving Exhibit A. It is an ex-swan.

• The scene was visited later by Kevin Garten, a volunteer from Shepperton Swan Sanctuary.
• ........a fox would have had it straight off.
  "I cannot definitely say it was human but I can definitely say it was no animal."

Kevin would be great at playing animal, vegetable or mineral.

Of course, the pictures provided look familiar. Yes, this is the same story as February 28th. Same David Gibson. Same old Mail. Given that there were another 43 comments, we know why the evil bastards at the Mail regurgitate such stories: it ticks all the right boxes without providing any evidence.

The tents seem to be used by Europeans and there may be some litter in the field, including a Romanian bible (still there yesterday according to the Evening Standard) and batteries. On this subject, Dave 'Maybe not Mel's doppelganger' Gibson is less than mute:

• "Maybe they are stripping them apart for the lead, or perhaps they are tipping the acid in the water to kill the fish.

Gibson, enjoying his fame as friend of the swans is less than mute (ahem):

• "Maybe they are stripping them apart for the lead, or perhaps they are tipping the acid in the water to kill the fish. "

This is the most disturbing aspect of this case. Gibson's pathetic musings ( I'll give him the benefit of the doubt here and say that he's just thick rather than having any racist agenda) are given an airing as if they count for anything. Perhaps Dave uses badger shit as fishing bait; let's face it, there may be some along the river bank.

Bring on the mad...........

• This is a sickening thing to do, these people should not be allowed to pitch tents in parks anyway. - Jacqui W., Southampton

The Weems woman never fails to let us down. Perhaps you'd like to take them in, Jack, me ol' fash!

• How low have we sunk? Not only committing a crime by killing the swans but what about the camping? Surely this cannot be legal? What's the next move, jail themthen give them a "golden handshake ". We (the Government) operate a two tierlaw, one for the true Brits and another for any Tom, Dick or Harry who decides to decamp here. It stinks.- Barbara, Bolton, England

Babs from Notlob doesn't quite understand the notion of a golden handshake. Of course, she has no examples of this two-tier system.

Let me say this : I do not know whether there is any truth in this story. Truth is, neither does the Mail. Unfortunately, the racist commentators don't care.

Fortunately, there were a couple of salient points made:

• A pheasant is an elegant bird, but I can kill and eat it. Why the double standard? Why is this sick and disgusting but the killing of pheasants and other game is all right?Perhaps we shouldn't be jumping to conclusions until the police actually say that the swan was killed by this mystery immigrant.- Steff, Cardiff, UK

Another load of Bewicks from the Mail's fishers of hate.