Nuts! They Still Crack On

Apologies for the dreadful Daily Star-type pun, but whilst perusing the PCC site, I came across an interesting report of a resolution to a complaint brought by a Scottish school over the perennial old chestnut (ahem) of 'everything-is-banned-through 'elf 'n safety-or-pandering-to-Islam'. It also gives an indication of how much of a toothless tiger the PCC is. I'll hazard a guess that more people continue to believe this urban myth than actually read the reply letter.

Another resolution involved a doctored photo of a battlefield resulting in some war books being given to the person pointing out the error. Given the amount of recent photoshopping used in The Mail et al, Waterstones must be expecting a bumper year.

Complainant Name:South Lanarkshire Council
Clauses Noted: 1
Publication: Scottish Daily Mail
Complaint:
South Lanarkshire Council complained, through Levy & McRae solicitors, that the newspaper had inaccurately claimed that a ban on nuts at Bothwell Primary school, enforced to protect those with allergies, extended to conkers .

Resolution:

The complaint was resolved when the newspaper published the following letter from the school’s head teacher:

“Your article of 7 September entitled 'Conkers? Nut Likely!' reported that a letter sent by me asking parents to check packed lunches for nut content and for chestnuts not to be brought to school, stated that 'pupils could no longer play conkers'.
In fact the letter referred not to conkers but to edible sweet chestnuts, which if eaten by anyone with a nut allergy will cause a potentially fatal anaphylactic shock.
Some years ago, an eight year-old pupil at our school suffered a serious reaction to eating a nut. Fortunately, he survived but the distressed pupils who witnessed the event decided they wanted their school to be nut free. It is in that context that the letter was sent and not as a 'killjoy move' as reported.”
Report: 74

Tough On Crime - Weak On Compassion

Days after an acquittal of a man wrongly convicted of murder - a man whose life would have been taken by the state, or more starkly, US, we see that compassion abounds on Planet Daily Mail. Summary justice is in vogue.

Everything in Mail Land is black and white (mostly white) when it comes to crime and punishment, particularly if you happen to be of foreign descent.

The story itself - about two Chinese students brutally killed in Newcastle - uses the time-honoured and dishonest tactic of inserting inverted commas to avoid attacks from the Press Complaints Commission. The PCC must have the Mail's number on speed dial. In this case, the Mail is on safe ground in respect of libel laws due to the death of the students.

• A Chinese graduate may have been tortured and murdered because of his links to an international internet betting scam on Premiership football matches, it emerged yesterday.

Note that use of the word may. We don't need any actual evidence, just supposition. As one bastard pointed out on the story about wrongly-convicted Barry George, death, be it through judicial or private execution, solves a lot of problems. Mr. Jeffreys then compounded his bastardy by seeking to justify it here on Enemies of Reason. The Mail then hides behind unnamed sources and then take to the jounalistic Tora Bora with the snide,

• "It was also claimed that the couple sold fake university degrees and international driving licences and ran a group purchase scheme to buy products cheaply, but then failed to hand over goods or return money."

Now, Zhen Xing Yang and Xi Zhou may well have been involved in what is claimed. The police appear to be investigating this aspect as they search for a possible motive: no problem there. What is also important to note is that this is a murder inquiry (as they say in Taggart) and as such the victims are entitled to sensitivity and proportionality. But not in the Mail.

Whereas the comments policy in the Mail seems to have been relaxed in recent weeks in that opposing views are being allowed, it also means that the more extreme elements are on too. I've argued before that the Mail's policy was illogical even by its own standards, as surely for every one anti-comment, there would be twenty readers ready to toe the right-wing line. However, by allowing appalling comments such as those below, they are again failing.

So, the most serious charges to be levelled at the victims is that they could have been involved in defrauding bookmakers and employers not willing to check qualifications. Not condoned, but hardly befitting summary execution. Send in the frowns:

• Mess with crime and this is what could happen.
  - Jacqui Weems, Southampton, 14/8/2008 18:02

JW is so often spewing forth on topics relating to foreigners that she may have burning crosses outside her house. I comfort myself with the thought that if you google her name followed by a profanity of your choice, this site is Number 1. How do you sleep, Weems?

• If true then good. He lied, cheated and stole.
  - Dave, UK, 14/8/2008 21:56

Dave is not certain that it's true, but if it is, he's glad that 'the mutilated bodies of Mr Yang and his girlfriend, Xi Zhou, 25, were discovered in their ground floor flat in Newcastle last Saturday. Mr Yang was tortured before his death.'

• A very 'sound' nulabour business by the sound of it. Gordon must be very proud.
  - Jerry, Watford, UK, 14/8/2008 21:56

Jerry manages to have a dig at Gordon Brown. First class arsehole.

• Seems like they lived by the sword..........................
  - Mick, Ipswich, 15/8/2008 0:13

Mick doesn't even understand the metaphor, even allowing for a non-literal interpretation. Please hit this guy with a heavy bible (which ,of course would be more appropriate). Still, I'm sure he's the only one dim enough....oh wait!

• Live by the sword, die by the sword.
  - eric victor, uk, 15/8/2008 2:01

Look Eric, take this advice from one Eric to another: Please don't breed.

We look forward to hearing jokes on the subject from Ann Winterton.

The Greatest Olympian

On the day that comparisons were made with academic results now and then, we also saw the continuation of the debate over whether Michael Phelps's record Gold medals made him the greatest Olympian of all time.

For what it's worth, I think we have to go some to beat the guy whose name adorns the Olympiastadion, Berlin in my photo below.

Bring on the nubiles

At this time of year I was always have a bet with myself that the Mail (and other culprits) will publish pictures of pretty young blondes getting their A Level results. A pint to Eric. In an unusual move, there is one group photo in the story with a couple of non-white students. Not that the Mail has any motive here.

The annual argument over standards carries on and maybe I'll add my two penneth one day (dead giveaway to your age there, Eric -Ed.)

Best comment on the Mail story goes to this honorary professor:

• I can't wait to see the spelling, grammar and punctuation of posters who say standards were higher in their day.
  - Callum Durrutti, London, 14/8/2008 9:51

Deserves his own column!

A Grin Up North

The report from Tory think tank Policy Exchange that northern cities are beyond regeneration, caused a bit of a stir in the Republic of Merseyside. The report - covered here in The Guardian - states,

"Coastal cities, whether large like Liverpool and Hull, or small like Scunthorpe and Blackpool, are most vulnerable ... They are almost always at the end of the line. They have lost their raison d'etre [as ports] and it is hard to imagine them prospering at their current sizes.

Understandably, the Conservative Party have been quick to distance themselves from this barmy report. I don't particularly want to dwell too much on this as these academics don't deserve the oxygen of publicity. (Some callers to our local radio station thought they should be deprived of oxygen itself, but I digress).

The report, Cities Unlimited, says: "Many of Britain's towns and cities have failed - and been failed by policy makers for too long. It is better to tell uncomfortable truths than to continue to claim that if we carry on as we are then things will turn out well. Just as we can't buck the market, so we can't buck economic geography either. Places that enjoyed the conditions for creating wealth in the coal-powered 19th century often do not do so today.

The fact is that Liverpool and the surrounding areas are beginning to prosper economically. There is development. Whilst we can argue about the immediate effect on poorer sections of the area., it is noticeable that investment is coming here.

Another bright idea is this so-called new notion: "Cities based on highly skilled workers are the most dynamic. Oxford and Cambridge are unambiguously Britain's leading research universities outside London." People in the north should be told bluntly that their best chance of an affluent future is to move south. "No one is suggesting that residents should be forced to move, but we do argue that they should be told the reality of the position."

Historically, this has happened for many years. As our industry has become increasingly Londoncentric, people have had to, as Norman Tebbit's dad did, 'get on their bikes' and re-located. The idea that Oxford (high murder rate since Morse died), Cambridge and London are crying out for an influx of northerners defies logic and I'm sure this nonsense will be very popular there. Of course, the reality is that there is an implication here that hi-fliers should move but sod the rest, thus creating ghettos which can be left to rot as they were under Thatcher. That is the nasty taste this report leaves; a dilemma for the nasty party seeking votes up north.

The idea that we should forget about regeneration is ludicrous; if anything those in the south should be worried - the future could be in the north. Given technological advances, why do we have to have everything concentrated in the south-east. Costs are lower, people are friendlier (no generalisation either) and other countries manage it.

The other flaw in their argument is that it is based on historical growth. One thing history shows is that successful investment does not necessarily have to be based on the past. Liverpool may not be dependent on its status as a port - though the docks are busier than ever and the river is busier than it's been for decades - but that port would not have been built in the first place without risk and investment.

I'm sure most of us here are having a smile today over this report and are enjoying the Tories squirm, but it does teach us a lesson - such think-tanks - be they left or right - are dangerous, disproportionally powerful bodies. They are often relied upon by papers for quotes when journalists cannot be bothered researching (Civitas, Migrationwatch e.g.) so hopefully their findings and views will not be accepted as tablets of stone in the future. Somehow I doubt it though.

Anyway, thanks Tim 'Nice but Dim' Leunig, for today's laugh.

UPDATE 13th AUGUST

In an article in the Liverpool Echo 'boffin' (compulsory to describe anyone with a Masters Degree as Einstein) Tim Leunig digs even deeper as he seeks to bury his credibility. I've copied it in full as Echo links tend to disappear after a few days.

• THE author of a report branding Liverpool beyond help today said its regeneration cash would be better spent on plasma TVs.
  Tim Leunig dismissed the city’s £4bn revival saying the chances of it catching up with rich parts of the south east were "close to zero".
  Instead he said Liverpool residents should move south to London, claiming the decline of the docks had taken away the city’s reason to exist.
  Mr Leunig’s report, which he admitted some people would think was "barmy", was today dismissed as "tosh" and written by an "idiot".
  City leaders pointed to Liverpool’s Capital of Culture-inspired rebirth and hugely successful schemes like Liverpool One and the ECHO arena.
  But London- based Mr Leunig, who co-wrote his report for think- tank Policy Exchange with fellow academic James Swaffield, insisted city residents would be better off packing their bags and leaving.
  He said: "I am not saying Liverpool is such a bad place to live. But it is a bad place to earn money because it is on the edge of the country.
  "It is poorly connected to the road network, the rail network and air links.
  "And it is a long, long way away from markets in Europe.
  "People are doing their best without a doubt. But the city still suffers the problem of not being near London or Heathrow.
  "Some of the cost of regeneration – I wonder if it should have been used to buy plasma televisions. I am being flippant – but only a little."
  Mr Leunig admitted he did not visit Liverpool or speak to city leaders before writing his report. He added: "People in Liverpool are better off than ever before.
  "But they have only got better off at the same rate as the rest of the country, so Liverpool is not catching up with London or the south east.
  "It is not because people are lazy or feckless. It is because Liverpool is less well-placed to do business.
  "The chance of Liverpool catching up with the UK average in the foreseeable future is close to zero.
  "If Liverpool people want to be as rich as people elsewhere they have to move out of the city."
  * Dr Tim Leunig is a lecturer in economic history at the London School of Economics.
  He went to Oxford university, where he got a degree, masters and doctorate in economics.
  He admits to making only a brief "pilgrimage" to Liverpool when writing a report about Lancashire’s cotton towns.
  He can be emailed on t.leunig@lse.ac.uk

Almost as good as Patrick Minford of Liverpool University - in a lecture I attended - advising unemployed people to visit factories and offer to work for less than the present workforce. The frightening thing was that Minford was very influential to Thatcher; it is to be hoped that should Cameron become P.M. he'll not be returning calls from Plasma Man.

Eric The Gnome

Seeing the picture of Eric The Hedgehog in the previous post reminded me of the story in yesterday's papers and today's Mirror about a gnome taken to exotic locations.

• He was snatched from owner Eve Stuart-Kelso's garden - and returned seven months later with 48 photos of his adventures. They show the 10-inch leprechaun abseiling and hiking in New Zealand mountains, posing by Sydney harbour and taking a dip in Thailand.
  With them was a letter to gran Eve explaining his absence. It read: "Whilst surveying your front garden one summer morning, I began to get somewhat itchy feet.
  "There is more to life than watching the daily commuter traffic and allowing passing cats to urinate on you.
  "So I decided to free myself from the doldrums of the Shire and seek adventure."
  The pictures, put in an album, also show him on a Singapore cable car, visiting a temple in Cambodia, on a boat in China and standing in a shark's mouth.
  Other places he visited were South Africa, Mozambique, Swaziland, Vietnam, Hong Kong and Laos.

My first view was that it could easily be photoshopped but that would be just cynical and spoil such a good story. Of course it also recalls the beautiful Audrey Tautou in the wonderful French film, Amelie - one of my faves. Eric in the Malia picture liked it there so much that he decided to stay. Maybe one day he'll go elsewhere or come home - driven out by the Malia Marauders drunk on free Raki.

His replacement, Eric the Berlin Bear has also travelled and maybe his slide show from Milan will be updated soon.

Excuse for pic of Audrey Tautou with spoon Part 1

White Heat

I normally like to read the columns of Michael White in The Guardian. He can be relied upon for entertaining sketches from Parliament. Now with the House of Commons in recess, maybe the holiday sunshine (or alcohol) has gone to his head. How else to explain his piece today - linking the stories on drunken Brits abroad and the case of mistakes in compensation for rape.

At least the Guardian allows a free reign - within boundaries -to its comments section. Thus, we witness Mr White getting his ass kicked.

The article in full:

On rape and personal responsibility -Michael White

August 12, 2008

Here's a trick question: part I. When Brits on their summer holiday across (occasionally 35,000 feet above) sunny southern Europe get drunk, hospitalised and possibly jailed, whose fault is it?
Usually theirs, of course, though it's always interesting to hear how keen some of them are to blame the poor old British consul for not finding their stolen passport - or opening the front door at three in the morning.
It's all over page one of the Mail today, based on a Foreign Office reports which records a sharp rise in arrests - 2,032 in Spain last year, 1,415 in the US, 230 in Greece, on average 15% up.
In Spain 1,591 Brits died in 2006-07, which sounds like a lot of pool drownings until you remember the pensioners who live - and die - in the sun.
Junior Foreign Office minister, Meg Munn, was on the radio this morning, sensibly advising travellers to check the law and customs in countries they plan to visit. I often forget the French requirement that drivers must carry a triangle and fluorescent yellow jacket in the boot of the car. They can be very bureaucratic, the Frogs, though they tolerated sensational speeding until recently.
What Munn really meant, of course, was drink, drugs and sex. Apparently, not everyone heads south for sunshine or museums. Some go to get bladdered and laid, so they tell me. It's not just the grown-ups either. Teenagers, free from mum and dad, do it too.
Well, well. Serves them right, says me, if the Greek police take a less restrained view of their misconduct than they do down on the Quays in Newcastle-upon-Tyne. In socially conservative countries - as ours was until quite recently - being pissed, aggressively loud and half-naked isn't thought acceptable.
I realise the local boys take advantage of this deplorable phenomenon to get easy pickings, but hypocrisy is a universal trait, even among priests and mullahs, let alone barmen.
Now to part II of the trick question. Who's to blame when someone who's got drunk later gets raped, abroad or at home? Well, the rapist, of course. Rape is a very nasty crime, though a flamboyant Tory politician - Nicholas Fairbairn QC - who later lost his job as Mrs Thatcher's Scottish solicitor general once got into trouble for observing that it was very close to a normal activity. It's one reason among several (no witnesses) why prosecution is so difficult.
But what about compensation for rape victims? Just as today's Mail highlights the holiday binge drinkers on page one today, the Guardian carries a page one report under the headline Rape victims told alcoholic consumption may cost them compensation.
We learned that in the past year 14 rape victims have had their compensation trimmed by the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority (CICA) because they had been drinking before they were attacked.
In the case of Helen - a beauty therapist who has not worked since being raped - she got 25% knocked off her £11,000 standard award. It felt like "a slap in the face", Helen told the paper.
She also gave an interview - read by an actor to protect her anonymity - to Radio 4's Today programme which, so I assume, must also have been given the story. The legal wrangle prolonged her distress, Helen seemed to be suggesting. Her lawyer was outraged.
The twist was that the CICA later changed its mind. It updated its response to the Guardian and BBC to say a mistake had been made in Helen's case: its policy is NOT to reduce awards to rape victims on the basis of alcohol consumption.
Today's Guardian editorial comment endorses that position, calling for a change in the rules on alcohol, in part on the grounds that for many women, those who do not see their attacker convicted, monetary compensation from the public purse is a form of recognition for their suffering.
I'm uneasy about this line of argument. Compensation for injury, civil and criminal, can be a pretty rough old business, with bomb victims sometimes getting much less than some pretty undeserving litigants who tripped on an uneven paving stone.
The Guardian acknowledges that drink "raises the risk of suffering rape, just as it increases the dangers of suffering from other violent crimes. No, the argument is that with rape there can be no divvying up of the blame."
Indeed not. But surely compensation is not about blame, that's a matter for the criminal law. It's about weighing up the injury, what long-term distress, financial outlay or even unemployment, it may cause, and - one factor among several - whether the actions of the claimant may have contributed to his/her misfortune. In sum, it's about personal responsibility.
If I get glassed in a pub during a fight which arose when I was drunk it's not quite the same as if I took the broken bottle in my eye as I soberly walked in, is it? If I wear conspicuously expensive clothes - or accent - and a Rolex watch in a rough part of town, drunk or sober, it's a crime to mug me. But, as the old saying goes, I was "asking for it" a bit, wasn't I?
It's rather like the police saying - as they rightly do - "don't carry a knife for protection, it may get you into trouble."
You put yourself at risk, just as you do by speeding when the idiot coming the other way loses control of the car: his fault, but you were going too fast or (another common one) tail-gating.
Yet I get into a lot of trouble with women friends whenever I suggest they have a responsibility to themselves to think about what they're wearing where they're wearing it. Ditto how much they drink. Ditto what I wear - and drink. Date rape drugs may be a problem, but rather less so than the happy hour, I suspect from the speed-drinking I see in bars.
The fact that people go to enormous lengths to deny this factor seems to me part of the problem, just as it is when bladdered stag party boys get stroppy with the consul when they lose their passport in Riga.
Everyone's a victim, no one's responsible. No wonder we have a discipline pandemic in school, at home and on the streets, not confined to the underclass either.
As for Brits, tourist or ex-pats doing drugs and sex-on-the-beach in places like Dubai, where appearances matter (as they once did here) they must be mad.
It's not Bradford or Barking, surely they can figure that out. For one thing it's hotter. That's why they're there. Or have they forgotten? Wonder why...

Whilst it used to be apocryphal old fart judges that equated skimpy dresses and lambrini with 'asking for it', it seems even the liberal elite are holding this view, albeit not apportioning blame in the legal sense - only in civil terms.

Now, let's be clear here, as a bloke who detests the way drunken morons of both sexes desecrate our towns and sully our name overseas, I'm not condoning drunkenness. I'd also fall into the grumpy old man groove of 'you're not going out dressed like that' but rape is rape is rape.

To use the following - as White does- defies logic:
If I get glassed in a pub during a fight which arose when I was drunk it's not quite the same as if I took the broken bottle in my eye as I soberly walked in, is it? If I wear conspicuously expensive clothes - or accent - and a Rolex watch in a rough part of town, drunk or sober, it's a crime to mug me. But, as the old saying goes, I was "asking for it" a bit, wasn't I?

This point stinks for a number of reasons:-
Is White saying that it's different because the alcohol will provide anaesthetic, or is he actually using such a general scenario to cover a multitude of sins? Who was to blame for the fight? Was the protagonist in the second example known to the victim?

Earlier in the article, White introduces the contrasting situation of drunken Brits losing their passports etc. I have an interest here: my first menage-a-tois with Messrs Ouzo and Stella led to me losing a credit card and much skin tissue. Mea culpa. No third party was involved. If I had been assaulted (and hadn't encouraged it) or had been buggered, the situation is clearly different. I cannot rape or assault myself.

I also had a lot of dealings with the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority (CICA) or CICB as was. There was a provision in the scheme for deductions to be made for contributory behaviour. This includes drunken behaviour but is largely to do with behaviour rather than the alcohol content (Often this would only be apparent on appeal as the faceless decision-makers evidently had a remit to save the exchequer money as claim rates rose (allegedly as any great Hislop would say).

White is not saying that anyone walking home in the early hours or with a belt for a skirt is responsible for the crime. He is correct that we need to take responsiblity for our own actions. However, even in purely compensation terms, there is no justification for the inferrence that somehow a victim is the architect of misfortune. It is hard to put a figure on injury in such cases; the tarrif system of the CICA scheme hardly helps here. There is though a clear distinction between an inebriated girl headbutting concret after tripping over a defective paving flag and a rape victim. The pavement is impassive; the rapist is not.

Suffice to say, this is a poor article for The Guardian and would not be out of place in The Mail. It is sometimes a flavourite device of a columnist to take a controversial view a la Burchill and then wait. Well, White succeeds there.
Perhaps the best comment on the piece comes from Purplefluff so the last word should be with her:

Complete and utter rubbish.
Are you REALLY comparing someone who is raped after having the temerity to have a couple of drinks, to drunken stag night idiots blaming everyone BUT themselves for losing their passport?
Compensation is cut if the victim had been drinking *at all* - not because they were *drunk*. This policy is just an absolute joke.
I am getting very tired of hearing men whinge stuff along the lines of: "but *men* are putting themselves at risk if they go around in dodgy areas wearing expensive suits flashing their cash! They're asking for it! whyyyyyy can't I say that women wearing revealing clothing are asking for it!"
Well, I'll try and make it easy for you: no-one actually says of mugging victims that they were asking for it! If you go to the police they focus on the *crime* and do not ask - what were you wearing? Nice suit, that, how much did that cost? You had £200 cash on you and a gold Amex? You had a few beers? Silly man, stop wasting our time, you know what to expect if you flash your cash in that kind of pub! You probably just got drunk and GAVE the money away!
NO-ONE SAYS THAT.
Women, too, are at risk of theft. A businesswoman wearing a designer suit and flashing a gold credit card is quite likely to be a victim, too. Women have the EXTRA risk of sexual assault and rape, and the misogynist myths that go with it.
The thing is that it's reasonably predictable when you are more at risk of non-sexual crime and you can reduce your risk accordingly: cover your PIN when getting out cash, don't take out too much at once, don't wander around dodgy areas late at night, take taxis not public transport late at night, don't ask the shell-suited skinhead lad what he's looking at, etc...
Yes, being extremely drunk might make people more careless about this kind of thing, and I don't think anyone is seriously arguing that drinking to the point where basic common sense goes out of the window is a good idea. But no-one seriously thinks anyone is actually to blame for being mugged, or glassed, *whatever* their behaviour.
The thing is - women get raped when drunk or sober, by opportunist strangers or people they know. Actually, by far the majority of rapes are by perpetrators known to the victim in some way.
Since most rapes aren't the violent, stranger dragging victim into dark alley off the street kind you're probably thinking - it doesn't MATTER how much she was drinking or what she was wearing or anything else she did or didn't do.
Rapists do not have red eyes, horns, a tail, and a tattoo on their forehead saying "RAPIST". They are often very skilled at making women trust them.
Many rapes are by partners, yes, really, or friends of the victim - people they thought they could trust. Women cannot sanely go around assuming every man they date is a rapist, even a long-term partner is a rapist, their friend of ten years is a rapist. Do we assume the nice guy who is a friend of a friend, who is offering them a lift home from the party, after all, they know him to talk to, he seems like a nice respectable guy, and we all know the scare stories that women are at risk if they take public transport home, or even take a taxi alone. Yet rapists are calculating, and the "let me walk you home, dear, you know it's not safe" is not an unknown ploy used by rapists to get women alone.
The risks of sexual crimes cannot be weighed in the same way.
And for your information, women are raped when wearing *all kinds* of clothing. Work suit? Jeans and baggy jumper? Slobby old tracksuit with food stains? Burqua? Nun's habit? Phwoar, sexaaay, yet you can bet some woman has been raped wearing all of the above. I am not surprised your unfortunate female friends get annoyed when you try to patronisingly advise them what to wear. In fact if a man said that to me, I'd think he was "asking for" a slap...what do you expect, deliberately provoking those hormonal angry women? You KNOW they can't be trusted around men coming out with sexist tripe!

Seasonal Greetings

CAMMELL LAIRD 2 TRFC 2 PRE-SEASON

The football's back. The pulses race, the tickets clutched, the scarf worn in Summer.

From expererience there are 3 things that spring to mind when discussing Swindon:

1. Be sure to take candles if Swindon Town are losing.


2. Beware Dougal and the Magic Roundabout.


3. Never fall out with the designated driver before getting a lift back - the train journey is both exhausting and costly.

Therefore, I was not entirely disappointed to miss the opening game of the season in Wiltshire. Another 3-1 defeat and the signs do not look so good for us this season. Leeds - without their 15 point chain -looked in good shape strolling to a 5-2 victory over Chester in the Cup as we crashed out 2-0 to Grimsby. Not a good start.

Ah well, a long way to go.

Daily Mail Pole-axed

I'm not one to gloat (not half) but the Mail has had to print a letter from the Federation of Poles in Great Britain. It has also removed some of the more vile stories I referred to in earlier posts. Of course this is not explained in the Mail. The Guardian helpfully provides more details here.

The Polish community and the United Kingdom

By Wiktor Moszczynski
Last updated at 12:04 PM on 05th August 2008

Older readers of the Daily Mail will be aware that here has been a sizeable Polish community in this country since World War Two when Polish forces fought alongside British servicemen against the Nazi threat.

Since then, an estimated one million Polish citizens have arrived in the UK after European Union expansion in 2004, mostly to work.

They have made a significant contribution to both the Polish and British economies.

According to the National Bank of Poland, about £4 billion is sent each year by Polish workers in the UK to their families at home. However – according to the National Institute of Economic and Social Research – the Polish workforce alone has contributed £12 billion to the British economy between 2004 and 2006.

We have all heard about the cheap Polish plumbers and seen the smiling Polish waitresses and shop assistants.

Poles have helped to revive British agriculture (especially in Scotland, Wales and Lincolnshire) and to boost, until earlier this year, the recent house-building boom in this country.

Unfortunately many were exploited as they struggled to obtain the legal minimum wage and basic employment rights.

At the other end of the economic scale, thousands of entrepreneurs have now set up their own businesses, while others can be found in responsible positions in the NHS, social services, accountancy and banking.

According to Piotr Grzeszkiewicz, director of recruitment agency Sara-Int, the Polish workforce contributes about £1.9 billion a year to the British exchequer in income tax and national insurance, not including council tax.

Poles are integrating well into the British way of life, especially if they are setting up families here. Of course we are aware that their presence has impacted considerably on the resources of local councils, schools and health trusts, but much of this is covered by tax contributions.

The Federation of Poles in Great Britain has been concerned about newspaper coverage which has sought to emphasise negative aspects of the Polish presence in the UK.

In our view, the worst examples linked Poles with words and phrases like “feckless”, “chancers”, “race riots”, “swamp the NHS”, “fears for schools”, “cut-price treatment”, “push British graduates to back of the jobs queue”, “killers, drug smugglers and rapists”. We consider that this has made Poles living in the UK feel vulnerable and persecuted.

Some might argue that these robust headlines were aimed more at the British Government, its immigration policy and at the European Union. Fair enough.

This implies therefore that Poles came into the firing line not because they were Poles but because they were the most visible symbol of those government policies that the Daily Mail has criticised.

The Federation remains critical however of the lack of reliable national and local government statistics on the number and impact of Poles in this country.

We maintain that Poles have felt humiliated by the coverage and are vulnerable to numerous acts of overt hostility and even violence which they have experienced from a vociferous minority of UK citizens.

There have been hundreds of cases of hate crime against Poles in this country recorded in the last 2 years, some leading to death or permanent injury, and we would not want these incidents to be encouraged by potentially inflammatory newspaper stories or headlines.

In some ways the heat is off now. A good proportion of Poles have either already returned or are planning to do so soon as the Polish economy improves and the Polish currency almost doubles in value against sterling.

There is now more concern in the press and economic circles about the impact of their departure rather than of their arrival. Nevertheless a significant number are here and will continue to be here for some years. The need for sensitive reporting and sensitive headlines remains.

Interestingly, no comments were being allowed on this. Another example of the Mail not trusting the readers. Jacqui Weems, John from Tendring et al - eat your heart out.

Contact Eric

The Email for sending your messages of support/abuse is:

Eric_The_Fish@englandmail.com

Tall Ships Parade of Sail 2008

Tall Ships 2008 Part 1

Wretched Refuse of our Teeming Shores

No further comment needed on this story from The Yorkshire Post:

Race Hate Pair Flee to US for political asylum

TWO men convicted of publishing race-hate articles on the internet have skipped bail and fled to the United States to claim political asylum, the Yorkshire Post can reveal.

Simon Sheppard and Stephen Whittle were given bail by a judge at Leeds Crown Court on Friday, despite having been found guilty of a series of race-related offences.

The pair were due to return to court on Monday while a jury continued deliberating over further charges, but they failed to turn up.

Last night Sheppard, 51, and Whittle, 41, were being held by immigration officials at Los Angeles Airport – outside the jurisdiction of the British court system.

It is believed that the pair travelled from the UK to Ireland by ferry before taking a direct flight to Los Angeles.

They are likely to have their case considered at an immigration hearing in the US before UK authorities can secure their return.

A spokeswoman for Humberside Police, which led the race-hate investigation, said: "We are led to believe that they are indeed being detained by the Immigration and Naturalisation Service (INS) at Los Angeles Airport.

"They are in custody and we are in liaison with the INS to establish that this pair are our two men and, if so, what is likely to happen to them."

Sheppard, of Brook Street, Selby, was found guilty after a seven-week trial of 11 counts of publishing racially inflammatory written material.

The jury gave unanimous verdicts on nine of the charges on Friday, and returned with two majority verdicts on Monday while Sheppard was absent.

Whittle, of Avenham Lane, Preston, was convicted of five counts of publishing racially inflammatory written material.

Four of the verdicts were reached unanimously on Friday, and the fifth was returned by a majority of 10 to one on Monday after Whittle had absconded.

The jury were unable to reach verdicts on seven further race-related charges which Sheppard faced.

A spokeswoman for the Crown Prosecution Service said it had yet to decide whether Sheppard should be retried on the seven outstanding charges. It has 14 days to reach a decision.

The case is due to be considered further at a hearing at Leeds Crown Court on July 28.

Tonight's Latest Scores

As I've said before, the attitude of the Daily Mail can be gleaned not from the actual comments made by its posters - as only the more vocal and extreme readers tend to bother - but by the number of comments made on various stories. The reason is simple: the Mail claims to receive thousands of comments, which are then subject to moderation before publication - a justification for only including some of those received. Of course, some form of pre-moderation is understandable but despite claims that comments are not censored for political views, this is patently not the case.

I try to post at least a dozen comments each week. I know it's a forlorn task so I keep them succinct in the vain hope that one will sneak through. The disturbing aspect is that I only succeed when posing completely sycophantic letters in support of whatever bile they are spouting.

Whilst I was working on a post about Rowan Williams's letter to Muslim religious leaders (his actual letter can be downloaded as a Word doc here) and the predictable reporting of it by Steve Doughty in The Mail here, I started looking at what was exercising the collective mind of DM Land.

Make your own videprinter noises:

Teenager's Guantanamo interrogation Video 0

Lorraine Kelly seems to have gained weight 14



Blair 'assassination' plans 19
Rhodes Earthquake kills someone not British 0


Swindon Council (may) scrap speed cameras 40
Alleged torture of UK citizens 4 (all supportive of torture)

The last story is particularly vile and the 4 comments add weight (not in the Lorraine Kelly sense) to the argument that the DM just lights the blue touch paper and awaits the explosion of bigotry to come.

• They are NOT British.

  - Mr. J. Smith, Birmingham, England, 15/7/2008 9:03

  I'm sorry terrorists don't have human rights.

  - A M, Wolverhampton, 15/7/2008 9:14

  Along with most other Britons, I couldn't care less how our security services get the information that keeps us safe.

  - Fed-up, Coventry, England, 15/7/2008 9:25

  And the problem is?

  - Andy L, St Helens, Lancs, UK, 15/7/2008 11:15

If the Mail truly wanted to distance itself from these bastards, and not want them to be representative of its readership views, it has the means to do so. Needless to say my comment attacking the overt racism of at least one of the comments will be ignored.

Funeral For A Fiend

When it was announced that Margaret Thatcher was to be afforded a state funeral, I thought it must have been the decision of someone who was round the bend or made spoons bend. A caller to local radio was one of the few to agree with the plan - as long as they waited until she was dead, I understand- said that she had done so much to change society. I don't need to state the damage this woman's change did to this area of the country, so all that is needed is a statement by the Iron Lady herself, oft-quoted:

"I think we have gone through a period when too many children and people have been given to understand"I have a problem, it is the Government's job to cope with it!" or"I have a problem, I will go and get a grant to cope with it!" "I am homeless, the Government must house me!" and so they are casting their problems on society and who is society? There is no such thing! There are individual men and women and there are families and no government can do anything except through people and people look to themselves first.

But it went too far. If children have a problem, it is society that is at fault. There is no such thing as society."

Footnote: Douglas Keay faithfully reproduced MT's reflections on society, although in the transcript the phrase "There is no such thing as society" occurs a few paragraphs below its position in the published text.

Don't Mention The Bore

As someone who visits Germany on a regular basis, I am always troubled by the crass obsession in the UK with WW2 and The Germans. Quite what the average German tourist thinks when travelling here is hard to imagine. Switch on your TV in your hotel and you'll find, alongside old Hollywood Americans-won-the-war films in black and white, a multitude of programmes about Nazis and weapons of WW2 masquerading as entertainment and historical documentary.

Don't get me wrong - I do like UK TV History (and the repeat of the olivier-voiced epic, The World At War is well worth watching) but the channel does have a tendency to concentrate on a 6 year period.

Uber-twat Richard Littlejohn today picks up on a story about an airship being used to convey tourists over London. The Guardian has a more sober reading of the story here.

Littlejohn is such a predictable hate-monger that it irks me to give him space. His journalism is so creaky, even WD40 can't help it. He trots out his tired, 'you couldn't make it up' catchphrase when he discovers that the company providing this service is German - and wait for, it (guffaw) is owned by a man named Fritz. Littlejohn lives in a cocoon he has carefully spun over the years: a world of politically incorrect 70s sit-coms, Gilbert and Sullivan parodies and semen-stained copies of Warlord ( Achtung! Mein Gott!)

The migrant Littlejohn lightens up his sycophantic readers' lives with Booker winning prose:

• This week's edition of You Couldn't Make It Up comes courtesy of Stella Artois, which is planning to hire a Zeppelin, piloted by a German called Fritz, to take tourists on an aerial trip across London.

He continues - beneath a pitiful cartoon -

• How about bringing them over on doodlebugs? Don't be surprised if they encounter a little light ack-ack over Wapping.

Stan Boardman must be shitting himself.

Test Video 1

Test for proposed web project

Hm........sound ends abruptly..........back to the drawing board.....................bloody interweb.

Fiona Phillips: Words of Wisdom Volume 28

Fiona shows why she didn't take the job with Gordon

I knew things were not going to turn out so well for Gordon Brown when it was announced/leaked in November of last year that on top of adding such lifelong staunch socialists as Digby Jones to his dog's dinner of a kitchen cabinet, he head-hunted the gushing name-dropper of the GMTV sofa, Fiona 'previously expressed an interest in politics' Phillips.

Ms. P has a weekly column in The Daily Mirror where she tells us -in addition to her hilarious children anecdotes - how wonderful every guest she has had on her show is 'in real life' particularly as she wants them back again to flog their latest record/'auto'biography/diet video/Quantum Physics discovery.

To make matters worse, Gordon was spurned like a Coronation Street bride, as FP felt her talents remained in the journalistic sphere.

Reminding us of this yesterday, she informed us:

• Privileged. That's what I am. Or at least I was on Tuesday when I was among an audience fortunate enough to watch James Morrison perform his new single (I was so mesmerised I can't remember what it was called).

It's a pretty poor day when a journo can't be arsed to do any research and find out the name of the song. or ask her mate James or the office cat at the Mirror. But no, that would spoil the sentence, rather.

There's still hope, of course, Fiona: former GMTV settee-sitter, Esther McVey is likely to be the next Tory MP for Wirral West.

Sympathy From The Devil

A friend of the senior partner in the Mother and Child Quiz team said last week that she was depressed reading her newspaper - all those stories of stabbings, immigration and Gordon Brown. Her newspaper of choice? Step forward The Daily Mail. Yes, it does depress and make you think life under Labour is shit: that is its purpose. As if on May 1st 1997, the halcyon days nurtured by Madame Thatcher had been replaced with the nastiest government ever. The record unemployment, decaying industrial base and the belief that 'there is no such thing as society' only the Me, Me, Me lodge, are long forgotten by the idiots who buy and read the paper.

I noted recently that the Bad Science writer, Ben Goldacre said there was a risk of being inculcated by reading this bile all the time - a sort of journalistic Stockholm Syndrome. Well. I'd rather be trapped in a lift with a flatulent Michael Winner and an amorous Jade Goody than fall victim to this. Therefore, every now and again I treat myself to a life. I've begun to engage in the Liverpool Capital of Culture Year and even had the sad privilege of watching the Mighty Whites robbed by the not-quite-minimum-wage-slaves from Anfield today.

I also managed to satisfy one of my (legal) fantasies by singing a Beatles track (in German, oh yes) with a proper backing band, live on radio - to be heard throughout the discovered world.

However, there are times when my masochistic hobby has to take centre stage. Whereas alleged Formula 1 Max Moseley pays lots of alleged money for alleged fun, in no way connected to his mother and father's political leanings, I like mine to be free.

Max Moseley's father's favourite hate rag, The Daily Mail, today, has a 'moving' story of a Romanian child, Florina Vranceanu, who was allegedly raped by her uncle in Romania and her family sought an abortion in the UK.

The Mail puts their compassionate soul, Natalie Clarke on the case. Nat, who famously covered the Wayne and Colleen Rooney wedding, informing us that,

• But cynics also point out she's intelligent enough to realise that if she wasn't the wife or girlfriend of Wayne Rooney, the clothes and TV contracts would soon dry up. That Coleen without Wayne reverts to being Coleen, just another kid from Croxteth. How nasty people are.

and then Natalie sneers further:

• Then she was given her own column with Closer magazine, talking about her clothes and holidays, worth around £100,000, it's said. On her marriage banns she gave 'journalist' as her occupation. Er, right.

Obviously, Coleen will never reach your standards, Natalie but not that you're bitter, right?

• I don't know, but I would guess that the big chavtastic wedding at Portofino is all down to Coleen, who the aforesaid cynics say is going to demand a lifetime of financial payback for those nights down at the massage parlour.

• Meanwhile, Wayne took a bunch of what some would call freeloaders - sorry, friends and family - off to Ibiza last week for a five-day stag do.

The rest of this article is just as bad. Shoddy, ill-informed snobbery. Phrases like (and I paraphrase) 'barely a day goes by without Coleen shopping at a designer store' should not be allowed in a free-sheet, let alone a so-called serious national newspaper.

As usual, I digress, for our Nat tries to make recompense with her story about Florina Vranceanu. The article appears to suggest that this is an interview with the girl and her mother. If only they realised what a vicious and evil paper they were talking to; a rag with a less than hidden agenda.

Exhibit A

The original story in The Daily Mail

As the story broke, there was some debate as to whether the girl would be allowed to have an abortion due to the lateness and this brought out the pro-lifers to effervesce over 24 weeks.

On the face of it, the Mail does not make any judgement about the case. That is not its modus operandi, which is to merely light the blue touch paper and let its moronic and bigoted readership fill in the gaps. Much has been said before about headlines bearing no relation to the actual story, and the caveats secreted within the articles. Here, despite the fact that it clearly states that,

• A wealthy Romanian businesswoman living in London has spoken to the family and promised to make arrangements for the abortion and cover all the costs.

the cerebrally-challenged DM haters vent their collective spleen:

• I am sorry for this young girl and for what has happened to her, BUT doesn't Romania have their own government? Why should we have to pay for a termination when there are other very young girls of our own falling into the same trap?
  
  She only got 16 weeks left to go. Why not just let her have the baby then put it into care for adoption?

  - Jules, UK, 26/6/2008 11:16

• A sad story but why, yet again, are we no doubt picking up the medical bill? Why does the whole of the world think we can sort their problems out?

  - S, Essex, 26/6/2008 14:13

• Why the hell is this our problem, and why should the taxpayer subsidise or pay for this. I see no mention of anyone paying for the actual operation, only the trip.
  
  No, sort it out in your own country, we will not pay for this out our taxes.

  - Steve, Lincoln, UK, 26/6/2008 21:57

• Excuse me? Will they pay for this procedure or just be like many others and do an NHS sponge visit at our expense? I do feel for the girl and her predicament, but good old GB is to be used again when our own are denied treatment because of cost.

  - Karen, London, UK, 26/6/2008 23:04

Then there are the people pontificating about whether abortion is right or wrong, or whether adoption should occur. Nice that people feel so free to pass judgement on morality from the comfort of their own arsehole.

To be fair, others did show compassion and point out the stupidity of the comments. Perhaps the finest comes from - I believe - someone orginally from Bucharest:

• To the ones who are so much afraid that they will have nothing to eat because they will have to pay for this, can you actually READ? The text is written in your own language.
  
  And to the Romanian Orthodox Church, for the first time in my life: BRAVO for admitting it is not YOUR judgement and decision but the family's.

  - Gabriela, Bexleyheath, Kent, 27/6/2008 9:37

Romania and its people are always at the forefront of the Mail's compassion. Witness another story on the same day:

Police fury as bosses tell them to 'celebrate' gipsies

• Their arrival in the capital is said to have led to a huge rise in thieving and prompted the creation of a specialist police squad to tackle their sinister activities.

Ah yes, the tried and trusted trick of hearsay evidence to blacken the reputation of a group of people. The story is ostensibly about a Gipsy (sic) Roma Traveller History Month but is just an excuse to have a go at people whose lifestyle does not fit in with the Mail idyll - ever see ethnic minorities in Mail TV ads? - and allow further bile to pile up. If people don't want to celebrate this, or feel it is an empty gesture on a par with National Foot Odour Day (sponsored by Adidas and Odour Eaters)then so be it, but what do we get?

• What are these people doing to Britain. I think they have a plan to completely destroy our way of life. Who will stop them.

  - Peter, Greece, 12/7/2008 3:35

• This is typical in PC Britain only Italy has the guts to get rid of them, but then as usual the rights of the criminal are put above those of the victim.

  - SHIRLEY, France, 12/7/2008 5:49

SHIRLEY, I SAID SHIRLEY, is a fan of Berlusconi. Perhaps she supports Le Pen. Anyway, nice of her to lecture us on foreigners from across Le Manche. Ditto Peter, whose Ouzo drinking has led to him forgetting how to use punctuation.

The frustrating thing about Planet Mail is that it increasingly resembles Groundhog Day. The article continues,

• Earlier this year, police staged a dramatic series of dawn raids in Slough, Berkshire, in a campaign to stamp out a Fagin-style crime ring involving Romanian slave children smuggled into Britain.
  

  Ten children were taken into care and 24 of their suspected controllers arrested on suspicion of human trafficking and organising theft involving up to £1billion a year. Many of those arrested were understood to be Roma gipsies.

Sounds familiar. Oh yes. As The Guardian reported in February 2008, and I referred to here.

From brilliant coup to cock-up. How the story of Fagin's urchins fell apart

In the nine days since the raid all but one child has been returned to the Roma community in Slough, according to a Romanian diplomat, and none of the 24 adults arrested at the scene has been charged with child trafficking offences.

Now, I'm not suggesting that The Guardian is correct and The Mail is lying, twisting bastards but I know who my money is on.

Clipper Race Finish: 5th July 2008

People in Glass Shit-houses

From today's Guardian

Daily Mail publisher is red-faced after laptop with personal data is stolen

• Tara Conlan
• Friday July 4, 2008

Daily Mail publisher Associated Newspapers has admitted that a laptop containing financial and personal details of thousands of staff, suppliers and contributors has been stolen.

After months of criticising "criminally careless" government departments for losing confidential records, the company has been forced to send out an embarrassing letter telling journalists they may now be at risk of identity theft, MediaGuardian.co.uk can reveal.

Even those who no longer work for either Associated Newspapers, which also publishes the Mail on Sunday and the Evening Standard, and regional newspaper publisher Northcliffe Media have been affected and contacted.

The Daily Mail's scathing splash in the government's lost computer discs scandal last autumn The letters from the Associated Newspapers group finance director, Simon Dyson, and his Northcliffe counterpart, Martyn Hindley, tell recipients that their "name, address, bank account number and bank sort code were the sensitive data lost" when the laptop was stolen last week.

Dyson and Hindley reveal the laptop was "password protected" but tell recipients to contact their banks and also "consult the government website … for advice on avoiding or dealing with identity theft".

The letters add: "The likelihood is that this theft was carried out in an opportunistic manner by a thief who will not realise that there is any personal data on the computer and who may just erase what is on the hard drive in order to disguise the fact that the computer is stolen.

"We have, of course, notified the police of the theft of the laptop and are talking to the Office of the Information Commissioner about what has happened.

Associated and Northcliffe also apologise to those affected and say that since the incident, which was caused by a "technical issue", security procedures have been "strengthened".

Associated Newspapers has been at the forefront of coverage of the recent bank and government department missing data scandals, so the incident is likely to cause embarrassment.

In May, the Daily Mail attacked "blundering banks" for "misplacing [their] customers' private personal information".

Last December a leader article in the Mail called the recent data loss scandals involving the NHS and government departments "criminally careless".

A Daily Mail & General Trust spokeswoman said: "DMGT confirms that a laptop company computer containing certain confidential information was stolen last week.

"The password-protected computer contained limited information on some current employers and suppliers from the group's newspaper division.

"DMGT has informed the police about the incident. DMGT has contacted all those affected and apologised to all those affected by this breach in security."

No mention of this in the Mail itself as obviously it feel that this is just bad luck; theft happens. If it happened to others they would not be the first to cast stones, would they:

Oh no, minister! Blears could face police inquiry after laptop is stolen in new data blunder

Daily Mail 18th June 2008 By Benedict Brogan

A Cabinet minister was facing the threat of a police investigation last night after a computer containing classified information was stolen from her office.

Now, the above story is slightly different in that it surrounds security matters and alleged breaches of protocol, but note the vitriol and snide remarks from the Mail's customers.

I hope Mr. Brogan's details are safe. I'd hate to see tainted earnings go astray.

News Updates

Majid Ahmed (Yesterday here)

The Guardian allowed Mr. Ahmed to write about the decision not to allow him a place on its medical course, and there's even a supportive article by Carol Sarler in the Mail here. Interestingly, there were no comments at the time of posting. As I've said before, a conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words where Mail readers are concerned. Simply contrast the amount of bile spewed on trivial cases compared to serious matters. I think it's a case of the readers having difficulty in taking a position - not something the Guardian's CIF trollmeisters have a problem with.

Jeremy Clarkson/ Top Gear - (Yesterday here)

Whilst I may be a minority of one over the 'wop' comment, it seems JC has met the wrath of the BBC -

Top Gear in hot water over G&T on ice

As he like to court contoversy, it's best to ignore the loud-mouthed twat.

More Milan Robbery

Ferrari in Milan by Eric The Fish

Just when I thought it was just me..........comes confirmation that it was just me. I noticed last week that there was a google 'Jeremy Clarkson be-wop' - almost a googlewack perhaps. Anyhoo, as I spouted in my diatribe here, I noticed a Clarkson carefully-prepared-ad-lib when reviewing a Ferrari.

The BBC respond - for they are not the unaccountable daleks of other networks - and I'm sure Jeremy will see the error of his ways and sign another lucrative contract with the Beeb.

• Dear Mr Fish
  
  Thank you for your e-mail regarding 'Top Gear', broadcast on 22 June.
  
  I was sorry to read that you were offended by a comment Jeremy Clarkson made while The Stig was testing a new Scuderia Ferrari.
  
  Please accept our apologies for any offence caused. Throughout the testing Jeremy was in awe of this car and he attributed much of that to its Italian design. As usual he made a few references which seem like typical stereotypes. As you're aware this is typical of Jeremy but he certainly doesn't mean to upset anyone and he wasn't taking a view or making a statement as much as he was a random reference. He certainly didn't mean to use the term as a derogatory slur as some in the past have.
  
  That said, I appreciate that you feel he overstepped the mark this time. As a result I've registered your complaint on our audience log. This is a daily report of audience feedback that's circulated to BBC staff, including members of the BBC Executive Board, channel controllers and senior managers as well as the 'Top Gear' production team.
  
  Thank you again for taking the time to contact us.
  
  Regards
  
  *************
  BBC Complaints
  
  Wednesday, 2 July, 2008
  

I'm happy that we do get some response and I've always been weary of serial complainers, but let's face it, the reply does not address the use of the word 'wop' or seek to justify it. It is not enough to say that it's just Jeremy - this seems to have helped Boris Johnson - either it is acceptable or it is not.

Maybe the acceptance relies upon the number of complaints. Maybe I just want to sit in Schumacher's car again.

Daylight Robbery in Milan

Milan Central - Mussolini's Bambino

Ben Goldacre
The Guardian,
Saturday June 21, 2008

The best thing about this job is you have an excuse to read the Daily Mail every day: but sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I worry that it might infect me.

Well, this is a voluntary exposure to the Daily Bile so think how I feel. It's all self-inflicted.

There has been much debate recently about civil liberties, freedom and fairness; this in itself is a good thing. David Davis's re-exchanging of vows with the electorate of Haltemprice initially injected some interest into the debate, although the subsequent decision of the Labour and Liberal parties not to stand has taken the shine off. (For the record, I feel the Labour Party made the correct call - just about).

In addition, a number of news stories - not all UK based - have highlighted the issue.

Firstly, we have the story in The Mirror et al, that a Housing Association in Surrey has decided to impose a curfew as part of its tenancy agreement. Draconian in itself but exacerbated by the close proximity of the homes to privately owned ones, whose children remain unfettered.

Now, part of the grumpy old fart in me thinks a general curfew might be a good thing in some areas, and the HA are within their rights to insist on certain levels of behaviour in fairness to all its tenants, regardless of the fact that there are more affluent homes as part of the same development. Indeed, even before the requirement for a percentage of homes to be set aside for social housing, HA tenants could find themselves close to existing homeowners. However, this appears to have been a badly thought out plan. What may have begun as an attempt to preserve social cohesion has clearly ended up being devisive and unfair. A less charitable view would be that - as some of those affected point out - they are pandering to the monied classes up on the hill.

As the scheme appears unworkable, I expect a climb-down to be undertaken and sanity to prevail. Otherwise, the posh kids will be able to claim the game once the referee blows at 9 p.m.

Next, we have the election charade (or Charamba to coin a phrase) in Zimbabwe. The Zimbabwe Government Spokesman, George Charamba said today that the United States, Britain and other European countries could "go hang". Given Saddam's finale, Messrs C and M should be thankful they don't have oil.

Then, we have the case of potential medical student, Majhid Ahmed, from a deprived area, denied a place at Imperial College London on the grounds that he has a spent conviction for burglary.
The college is quoted as saying,

• "The college requests information on a candidate's 'unspent' convictions only ... medicine, however, is focused on preparing students for a career that has particularly demanding requirements. Medical practitioners hold a position of responsibility in society, and must often deal with vulnerable people. The public must have confidence in the integrity and probity of its doctors.

  "Imperial believes that by carrying out and acting upon the CRB [Criminal Records Bureau] checks of potential medical students, it plays an important role in helping to uphold this trust."

The decision to uphold the bar on him taking a place comes despite references from charities and doctors he has worked with, together with straight A grades. As soon as I saw the story, I was reminded of a not-so-dissimilar case, that of Louise Woodward. (born in Elton, Cheshire not Cambridgeshire, Wiki people). For brevity's sake I shall merely point out that she has a conviction in the USA for manslaughter involving a child in her care. She then pursued a legal career, taking a degree in London and embarking on training. Indeed, I was somewhat surprised to see her at Liverpool Family Proceedings Court shadowing a solicitor, but hey ho.

The crucial aspect is that whilst criminal convictions (particularly dishonesty) can be a bar to practising law, the Law Society uses discretion.

Similarly, the General Medical Council yesterday confirmed that people can still become doctors if they have a criminal record. A candidate could be barred if thought to pose a risk, but evidence including references would be considered.

Not only does this smack of one rule for some, it sends out a clear message: we want to rehabilitate you, but don't get ideas above your station. I hope Mr. Ahmed gets further offers soon.

Finally, as 5CC pointed out some hours ago, it's that time of the year when The Daily Mail has a go at gypsies (or gipsies as it continues to print, not that it stops its salivating sickos using another spelling). As its intrepid fashion expert Liz Jones failed to find any swan-eating travellers at Glastonbury, it turns to its patriotic counterparts in Italy for succour:

Caught in the act: The 'gipsy' child thieves who could teach Fagin a trick or two

Sorry for shouting, but it is like being bellowed at by a particularly bigoted Mussolini-lookalike.
Of course, as usual, the 'story' is not quite what it says on the tin helmet.

Fagin, eh? Seen that somewhere before.

The Mail paints the picture: young kids pickpocketing outside Milan's railway station. Now, notwithstanding the fact that any seasoned traveller should be aware of such possibilities at every major transport station, and criminality is criminlality whoever perpetrates it, there is no justification for what follows:

• Children, all below the age they can be prosecuted, are sent out by their parents to steal cash, cards and phones - in fact anything that can be sold on

And the evidence is where? But this is Mail Land. Just use quotation marks and caveats sparingly and allow the moronic element of its readership to fill in the blanks like a journalistic paint-by-numbers.

• Both youngsters are pickpockets and both are also almost certainly the offspring of Roma gipsies.

Berlusconi's solution is simple: fingerprint the Roma. And this gets some support from the Mail faithful:

• It's not just Milan, parts of Britain are like this with organised mobs of children stealing in London and other cities. Unless immigration is controlled from Eastern Europe, expect more of the same.

  - Sue G, Perth, Australia, 1/7/2008 8:16

You see, even though Sue is half way round the globe, she sees all. Amazingly, the Mail sees no problem in printing such borderline racism (to be charitable).

• We sent my parents to Rome as a gift for their Golden wedding anniversary. They had a miserable time fighting off these children and were not always successful. Even worse was the way the police seemed to collude with the Roma, beating the children and taking their pick from what was stolen. Very sad situation - mum and dad were so pleased to come home.

  - Elisabeth, Limoges, France, 1/7/2008 8:17

This doesn't even make sense. They collude with the children they then beat and steal from. Maybe lost in translation from our French expert.

• Anyone who has had direct experience of gypsies will know quite how bad they are. All this hand-wringing from the usual liberal suspects is only to be expected.
  
  Go to it Rome - clear them out.

  - Geoff M, Brittany, France, 1/7/2008 8:18

Where the Mail fears to tread, another cross-channel racist steps up to the plate.

• If Italy can get tough with these people why can't we - oh I forgot the Human Rights Act - they have a human right to rob us.

  - Declan, London, 1/7/2008 11:42

Declan thinks Italy is not part of the EU. Strewth.

• UNICEF and the rest of the idiot do-gooders should butt out, whinging about children's rights. If they choose to rob, steal and thieve they deserve to be finger-printed. Moreover they deserve to be removed back to Romania.
  
  We need to put this idea on hold that immigrants should be treated with kid gloves because they don't know our laws. Rubbish. Either change your ways or head back to where you came from. Simple as that.

  - Chris Carr, Southampton, 1/7/2008 13:16

Carr is that peculiar breed of Briton, Thickus Shittus. Never mind reading the story, just make your own one up and hope nobody notices.The newspaper equivalent of John Redwood's Welsh National Anthem.

Fortunately, there are some sane comments:

• If there are gipsy Roma families that are causing trouble or mistreating their children, they need to be dealt with like people from any other minority. Such cases shouldn’t simply be seen as an opportunity to gain votes or to sell a few more newspapers. Crime is the symptom of a greater problem, and if the problems aren’t dealt with then the problem persists. Ultimately society decides what kind of world we are going to live in. When people are excluded from society they make their own rules. I don’t say that is right it is just the way it goes. Catching criminals and punishing them is essential, but it doesn’t change any thing. Changing hearts and minds, changes everything.

  - Joseph G. Jones (The Gypsy Council Ltd, Secretary), Amersham Bucks, 1/7/2008 8:00

The Council's site is currently under reconstruction (imagine Mail comments about tarmac etc) but there is an interesting affiliated 'permanent site' here.

• The comments here are disgusting. Fingerprinting children of a minority because they are from a minority? Even the Catholic Church has condemned it yet people here think it is common sense. Really quite unreal.

  - Kevin Boatang, London, 1/7/2008 10:05

There is daylight robbery in Milan: over £4 for a pint of piss poor Peroni.