Fiona Phillips: Words of Wisdom Volume 28

Fiona shows why she didn't take the job with Gordon

I knew things were not going to turn out so well for Gordon Brown when it was announced/leaked in November of last year that on top of adding such lifelong staunch socialists as Digby Jones to his dog's dinner of a kitchen cabinet, he head-hunted the gushing name-dropper of the GMTV sofa, Fiona 'previously expressed an interest in politics' Phillips.

Ms. P has a weekly column in The Daily Mirror where she tells us -in addition to her hilarious children anecdotes - how wonderful every guest she has had on her show is 'in real life' particularly as she wants them back again to flog their latest record/'auto'biography/diet video/Quantum Physics discovery.

To make matters worse, Gordon was spurned like a Coronation Street bride, as FP felt her talents remained in the journalistic sphere.

Reminding us of this yesterday, she informed us:

• Privileged. That's what I am. Or at least I was on Tuesday when I was among an audience fortunate enough to watch James Morrison perform his new single (I was so mesmerised I can't remember what it was called).

It's a pretty poor day when a journo can't be arsed to do any research and find out the name of the song. or ask her mate James or the office cat at the Mirror. But no, that would spoil the sentence, rather.

There's still hope, of course, Fiona: former GMTV settee-sitter, Esther McVey is likely to be the next Tory MP for Wirral West.