Littlejohn's Big Idea

Florida's greatest columnist has hit on a brilliant idea:

  • Your X-rated Daily Mail

    More examples of proof-of-identity madness keep dropping into my inbox.

    It's not just fireworks, tobacco and booze, either. A number of you have told me you've been asked to prove your age before being allowed to buy the Daily Mail.

    One reader even sent me his till receipt, which read: 'Cashier confirmed purchaser was over 16.' The justification is, apparently, that you have to be over 16 to buy a paper containing a free DVD. But the last time I looked, we were giving away classic movies such as Wuthering Heights and Bleak House - not Driller Killer or Debbie Does Dallas.

    Do you think there's something more sinister going on here? How long before the Government insists you can only buy the Tuesday and Friday editions of the Mail in a plain brown envelope?

Brown would be the appropriate colour given the particular brand of shite given out when his column comes out on those days. Not sure if brown envelopes figure in the payment of Littlejohn's exhorbitant salary.


Mark said...

Plain brown envelopes sound like a great idea, that way if you want to get the free DVD you don't have the embarassment of openly walking out the newsagent holding the Mail.

Anonymous said...

Yes, one shop asking for proof of age is equal to goverment conspiracy!!1

He really is a turd.

I buy the Mail for my mum (bit of a story) and I make sure that I always fold it so that the paper title is covered.
A brown paper bag would be very welcome. Or maybe I should hide it inside something less embarassing like a porn mag.

eric the fish said...

Yes, I'm still waiting for someone to give me a copy of the Lennon CD from last Sunday. 'Some of my best friends buy the Mail......'

Maybe one day it will be seen as embarrassing to buy as say The Sun is on Merseyside.

Mitchell Stirling said...

I've had to provide ID (I'm 25) for The Independent in Sainsbury's before with no DVD in the paper. Get the impression it maybe a supermarket's policy not Brown's.

Tom said...

"Contains mild sexual imagery, mild drug references, and moderate race hate."

No Sleep 'Til Brooklands said...

I've had the same trouble trying to take video game mags through the self-checkout. It's not surprising; unless you could guarantee that all the DVDs are U-rated it's practical to check ages to stop kids buying a paper and getting hold of an adult-themed film. Wuthering Heights is 12-rated for a start so kids shouldn't be able to buy it on their own.

It's very disingenous to choose those films though; the Mail has given away more adult films than that in the past. A quick search brings up their Michael Caine series, revealing that they gave away 'Half Moon Street', which they themselves describe as 'a classy erotic thriller', which is 18-rated and has Sigourney Weaver getting her tits out (as that article helpfully illustrates).