Gathering Nuts in December

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the toy store, the sane and rational people behind the MAMA campaign (Moms Ask Mattel for Accountability) have taken the fight against Islam to new heights.

Remember the doll that didn't say 'Islam is the light'? The one that caused The Sun to have a stroke?The one that caused yours truly to write a column in the Owasso Reporter in Oklahoma? Of course you do. But, - a reader shouts - surely we've all moved on from this silly season story? Oh no. Take a bow MAMA.

As they say on the terraces, who are you?

• Moms Ask Mattel for Accountability - MAMA -is a public education effort by concerned families to protect children from being invited to join Islam, without their parents’ knowledge or permission

Pleased to meet you, MAMA. So, you've heard about the doll then?

• Mattel, the largest toy maker in the world, is still selling a toy that says “Islam is the Light”

So, what's your solution to this crime against humanity?

• Truth-in-advertising for this toy is of material importance to the post-9/11 consumer, especially to the post 9/11 parent who purchases a toy in absence of any warning that the toy advocates Islam to young children.

I see. So, if granny buys this devil doll for little Britney she'll grow up wanting to blow up people? Or maybe she'll just join the US army where you get to learn to land planes as well.

Disturbingly, Mattel are apparently in on the indoctrination.

• “Chris Schaden, senior vice president of sales at Mattel, said last month the company did a thorough investigation and found that, ‘if told to listen for a particular phrase, you may hear something similar due to the power of suggestion.’”

Ah, Harry Hill's POS strikes again. What are the chances? (anyone outside the UK won't get this).

Even worse, Mattel, it is claimed, posted a different sound file on its website.

MAMA were not to be fobbed off. They used computer and audio experts to slow down the audio so that a definitive, remixed version could be produced. Whether this will be released on itunes is another matter.

Here, Randall Rathbun, the aliteratively named hero of the movement, picks up the gauntlet like a knight on his way to the crusades:

• I slowed the whole recording down to the following 3 ranges: a man’s voice, a woman’s voice and a child’s voice.

  I then listened carefully, playing each several times for subtle
  nuances. The child’s voice wasn’t quite right, there was too much
  articulation for a normal child to master. The man’s voice didn’t
  sound right, the timbre quality or resonances did not fit or sound
  right, but when I played the woman’s voice the first time, it was an
  uncanny match.

• I used the Windows version of Audacity Sound Editor to slow the speed from 44.1K to 31K and convert the file from mp3 to a wav file….

Slow down, Randy, you mean it won't work on a Mac?

Now, I'm losing the will to live so I can't be bothered to give these zealots any more space. I'm no apologist for any fundamentalist extremism whether it be Jihadists or the MAMAs from Hell.

Fawlty Shades of Green

Following yesterday's mention of rentaquote Stephen Green of his Christian Voice Movement, we see him appearing on the pages of The Guardian today. Strangely, the Mail neglected to call him up on the sex education in primary schools story, so maybe there is a parallel universe somewhere.

Or, is this a sign of the Guardian's continued drop in journalistic standards? As the paper develops a trend for celebrity, tabloidesque pieces masquerading as comment (Big Brother blogs, Kerry Katona updates), has it fallen into the trap of regurgitating press releases?

Polly Curtis in The Guardian does provide more accurate information than the Mail's headline-and-run approach, pointing out that:

• Children will learn about body parts and the fact that animals reproduce from the age of five, puberty and intercourse from the age of seven and contraception and abortion from the age of 11.

The Mail, however, merely informs its readers that,

• Children as young as five will be taught about sex, drugs and alcohol in compulsory lifestyle lessons, ministers announced today.

Returning to The guardian, although other comments are sought, the disturbing one is from Green,

• However, a minority of traditional family campaigners opposed the decision. Stephen Green, national director of Christian Voice, said the proposals would only "encourage experimentation" and contribute to the rise in teenage pregnancy and infertility.

  He said: "We oppose this move completely. It can only encourage experimentation and will not teach about the rise in teenage pregnancy and infertility.

  "Condoms only cover one part of the anatomy and do not protect against other infections carried on the skin that can cause infertility."

My objection is not to the fact that there is an opposing view, but that it comes from a man allowed to punch above his weight by hiding behind a tin-pot organisation.

There will be Christian groups that also oppose this but do not share Green's apocolyptic view of the world, his hatred of homosexuality, his anti-Islamic stance, his suggestion that Hurricane Katrina was God cleansing sin, his belief that the Queen's Sovereignty comes from God, prayer can win Test Matches against Islamic countries! I could go on but I'm losing the will to live.

Local BBC radio here also quoted from Green on this matter and this went much further than the Guardian words. To paraphrase he suggested that this was a proposal from a Government forcing children to fornicate and that sex should only be between two virgins on their wedding night. I don't think he was referring to John and Yoko.

As I said yesterday, our new friends in Owasso (Morning! hope the storms have not done much damage, though Green may claim them to be a judgment on Obama supporters) may be as upset about this as the Magic Bus, but at least the Doll-Fearers may have a soul mate.

The doll - rather confusingly -is purported to say 'Satan is King' as well as 'Islam is the light' but Brother Green sees a link:

• We want the freedom to preach the Gospel, to say Jesus Christ is The Way, The Truth and The Life, and that the gurus and prophets of other religions lead nowhere except to hell.

All makes sense now. Must. Join. Christian. Voice. Green. Is. The. Lamb*









* He is baaaaaarking mad.