When James Slack (if he exists) of the Daily Mail talks about TRUTH we all sit up and take notice.
In his 17th May bilge, he decides to have a go at migrants for a change. HOW DO YOU SLEEP?
The truth about 'high level' language tests for migrants - which include words like 'shop', 'big house' and 'very rich'
We all know this is a bollocks story, but unfortunately, there are people who read headlines in the Mail, and Metro; that is James Slack's raison d'etre.
The Daily Mail has tracked down the Council's A1 document and its requirements are basic, to say the least.
Tracked down? Basic? Daily Mail? Oh, make your own jokes.
A1 is neither tip-top, or the highest standard - it is the lowest, and by far.
I think Slack has been googling Englishness and getting Arthur Ransome and Billy Bunter; down with the kids as usual, Jimmy?
Perhaps the most interesting piece of Slackism comes at this point,
Also excluded are the mainstays of British convention in 2008 - house prices and the credit credit crunch.
......and the amount of taxes paid by Mr Slack's employers and the out-of-court settlements paid when Associated Newspapers don't quite get the FACTS right.
Of course, when Slack has a story to regurgitate, he needs an independent source: cue Sir andrew green of the no-axe-to-grind-Migrationwatch:
Sir Andrew Green, chairman of Migrationwatch UK, said last night: "These immigrants won't have enough English to understand the meaning of the word "spin", but, judging by this episode, they will very soon find out."
Thanks, Mr Green. You must be so proud of your rentaquotes in Slack's shit pieces. Do you not realise that you should always take care to choose your strange bedfellows?
Amazingly, there were no comments from the usual ex-pats from Malaga, Australia or Neptune (any ex-pats currently residing in Hong Kong are obviously exempt from this rant provided they send lots of money now!)
Maybe James Slack is a polyglot; perhaps he orders pierogi in Poland, macaroni in Milan or balti in Birmingham, Alabama.
No, Slack, the truth is that you have money sent to your bank account - notwithstanding the credit crunch or the equity on your house - enjoy your pieces of silver, James.