Steven Gerrard Theft - Liz Hull Knows

The Mail can be relied upon for headlines that do not have much in common with the actual story. Today, they pick on the story that Liverpool FC captain Steven Gerrard had his house burgled whilst his wife, Alex Curran, who happens to write newspaper columns for rivals was present.

The headline is risible. Houses of this kind do not get burgled as a spontaneous act as suggested by the article. The raiders would not have decided, hours after hearing she had bought an expensive watch for him, to stage an operation of this nature. In addition, it is hardly a state secret that leading footballers have wealth on display. He ain't gonna be living in a bedsit with a black and white TV for company.

The implication is that by talking about your wealth you invite bad fortune. This sits uneasily with The Mail's zero tolerance of crime (apart from tax avoidance (aka creative accountancy) or motoring offences (aka stealth taxes).

The piece itself is penned by Liz Hull - a veteran of such classics as 'Signs warn anglers to stop eating all the carp' (which should have read V signs warn Liz to stop writing crap')